A Mind Full of Creatures.

.. And that’s the thing about you. You show no effort into solving this conflict. So why the fuck should I?

Those competitive relationships seems to be the fun ones. Two lovers going at it with eachother. They place bets that the loser has to do something for the winner. It motivates both of them to become better so they won’t lose the next match. It’s just two lovers having fun and also making the relationship more interesting. I want to have something like that one day.

Looking at myself in the yearbook, I see no physical changes of how I look like throughout the years( except what I wore). But looking at everyone else, WHAT THE HELL. Fucking transformation, man. I was laughing to myself at how everybody’s physical looked changed from middle school till now. Talk about changes.

I have this urge to just run away from home and stay at a friend’s house for a while. I have an urge to get fucked up to forget that all this shit happened. My mom probably wouldn’t care anyways. I’d be one less troublesome kid for her to take care of.

This family makes me feel like a nobody. It seems like my mom cares more about her boyfriend and her neice than she does care for her son. Why should I be grateful of being a nobody to them? They make me feel left out. Fuck this.

Won’t be posting as much. I gots myself a journal now and I’m more outdoor :D Plus my computer had a malfuction that won’t allow me to go on it soo. I’m on the iPhone btw. Yeaah.

Dancing Is my get-a-way trip from reality. It’s the only thing I could do to get away from all the problems and stress. You feel free and happy, escpecially if your dancing companions are there to session with you. And right now, I just want to dance.

Why do I hesitate just to press the call button? I want to get things settled, but I can’t seem to make the call. Am I afraid of how the conversation will end up? Why? Am I scared how you will react to what I say? You try to go for the call button one more time, but hesitate once again. Fuck. What will happen if I do call you? What will happen if I don’t? The conflict has two solution you could pick: not knowing what could have happened and knowing what did happen. Knowing the possibilities of what could happen, to hell with it.

You got to swallow your pride sometimes and just do what’s best for you and the others. Things will either become better, or become a conflict. But the conflict would just die out and everything would be normal, hopefully.

Holy crap I’m feeling really grand right now. I could say I’m satisfied how life is treating me now. I’m so fucking happy I could just forget every conflict I had and just enjoy life. I dunno, I have a real close friend that we just keep the conversation going, joke around with, and just being real with eachother. He’s a bro to me. And fuck, I never had this type of friendship for a very long time.

I have a feeling that next school year will be my favorite.

Womp womp. Goodbye Hawaii. California, here I come :D

Nowadays, I don’t really see most of bboys trying to hit the beat or doing footworks anymore. It’s more like they care about who has the biggest blow-ups and the cleanest power moves. I see windmills to flares to air flares from a lot of bboys. It gets boring seeing that combination way too much. Constantly doing the same moves each rounds? That’s ridiculous. Don’t you have a set that doesn’t have you do the same shit every battle? 

mmmelissa: